feeling blue

feeling blue

“Ben üzgündüm. Ama onlara “Yorgunum” dedim.”

Geçen gün bir arkadaşım Küçük Prens’ten bu alıntıyı göndermiş. Tam da vaktinde geldi. Güzün hüzünlü gözyaşları ve gri bulutları arasında tam yerini buldu.

Bugün biraz üzgünüm. Sadece üzgün de değil belki, biraz kırık, biraz kırgın, biraz hassas…

Somehow, I feel blue. Despite this dark and grey skies, all I can think of is feeling blue. What a joke! This must be a joke, right?!

Is it because it’s mid-Autumn already and winter is coming and it’s getting colder and lonelier…? Is it because I’ve socialized a little and now I miss all that and nothing’s back to normal and we’re all stuck in this messy pissed off state of Covid-19…? Or is it because I miss someone or something in my life –  that someone or something not taking place in my life as I imagined – and there’s a lot of yearning and longing and missing and all that sensory crap…

When I close my eyes, I can still imagine a brighter day with lots of sunshine and cheerful smiles. When I dream, I can dream whatever feels like it and it always feels right. Nothing falls apart. Nothing breaks my heart. Nothing feels awkward and every small piece of the puzzle just fits into the right place. For once, it all feels right.

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